Faking the ‘O’: Women Faking the ‘O’ Are Ruining It For The Rest Of Us

February 22, 2016 – Molly Cosby

We’ve all been there.  You are sitting at the football game and some dude starts yelling about what plays your team should call.  And all you can think is, “Dude, shut up.  You don’t know anything.  There’s no magical play on 3rd and 36. Sometimes we just play for some damn field position.”  

Everyone in the stands knows this dude is clueless.  But even though he is faking he knows the ‘O’, we all just sit and roll our eyes.  Dudes faking it is just part of watching sports.  In fact, a British study reported that nine out of ten Brits confessed to faking they knew something about sports when they didn’t.  As women, we just accept the fact men are often clueless about the stuff they talk about.  

But what about women?  Are they ever faking it?

The Ladies League and its fans are women who know sports.  But we all know that clueless women have preceded (and still roam among) us sports-loving females and give us a bad reputation.

Let me illustrate with one of the worst examples I have seen.

One fine Sunday, a girl crashed my friends’ football party and proved my point. She waltzed in, gave the TV a glance, found a spot on the couch, and got cozy between two males stuffing their face with guac. After a few minutes of tolerating this chatty chick, I found out she could care less about the game — she was just there for the booze and boys. Sure; to each their own.

At the end of the game, the home team attempted a two-point conversion after their touchdown, going for the win. After the quarterback threw it over the head of his wide receiver in the end zone, coming up short thus losing the game, the girl threw her hands up in exasperation and said “Damn! They should have just gone for the field goal!”.

I automatically cut my eyes to her to see if she was serious. Wow, she sure was. The field goal. You mean PAT, honey? She was legitimately pretending to know the offense (‘O’) to impress these guys. She was faking the ‘O’.

A couple of the guys gave her a hard time for such a remark, to which she just laughed, made up some excuse, and proceeded to playfully push them. She got attention, which is why faking the ‘O’ is a popular technique. It’s fine by me if you do not know all of the rules, plays, and stats (hey, really no one knows everything), but the problem becomes when you think you do. Or pretend you do.

So what’s the big deal?  Men fake it all the time.  Why can’t women do the same?  

Well, here’s the problem.  Because some women have faked it, some men — yes, the dudes who want to give women sports quizzes — think all women need to be tested.  And as I’ve said, those tests are irritating.  And that means, when women fake it women like me become more irritated.

Women have made great strides to become a part of the male-saturated sports world.  Historically, men believe they have a birthright to the sports arena because it was men (not the dudes yelling in the stands, but some men in the past) invented most sports, and therefore, played them. Some guys are inherently resistant to including women into their club that they created.  And they feel it is their right to shut us out when some women pretend they know what the club is all about.

And yes, none of that is quite right.  Men don’t own sports.  We all know that.  Still… bluffing women just aren’t helping anyone.

In an ideal world, everyone just stops faking it.  But maybe since I am tired of the damn tests, I especially want women to quit faking the O and pretending to know the D.

Because really, only real sports fans know the D, darlin’.

You can follow the author of this article on Twitter at @Molly_TX

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